Question

Having watched and admired you from a distance your article in yesterday’s paper had so many similarities to my daughter. We have been involved in the Surf Club since my eldest son was 5, he is now 21 & competes at State & Aussies every year. So after watching you I found it hard to believe that could have happened to you.

My youngest daughter is 12 years old. She has 2 brothers 21 & 16 & a sister who is 19, & I have never experienced anything like this with any of the others. We have had unbearable times over the last two years at school, not a good way to finish Primary school. Having received no or very little help from the school we were left to deal with this on our own. Me being her number 1 supporter also made me a lot of enemies with her so called ‘friends’ and their parents.

She is tall, slim with beautiful long brown hair & brown eyes, she is a beautiful dancer which is her main focus, she said when she dances everything goes away & that is the same for you with Surf Life Saving, she loves sport playing oz tag & netball. They are the only reasons I can think of as to why these girls would be so nasty to her. They would always have a go at her for anything she said or did. She has always been left out of shopping trips & movies & just girl get togethers. There is about 10 girls in this group & she has been friends with them since kindergarten & being at a very small school it is not always easy to change groups. Her biggest supporters have been the boys but the other girls don’t like that either.

It has absolutely broken my heart and I always say to her what have you done, I don’t immediately think that she is totally innocent, however it always ends up that way. I have also been told by other children things that have happened and I have witnessed them treating her badly. And as a mother it nearly kills me. Only once about 8 months ago she told me that the girls would be happier if she was dead. I can’t tell you what that did to me.

It’s really hard to find help & people that will listen as I don’t want to continually sound like I’m complaining, & because of it I have completely distanced myself from the school, parents & anything else that may bring me in contact with these people.

I thank you for taking the courage & time to write that article, she sat down last night & read it & commented on how beautiful you are.

Should I get the opportunity at Aussies this year I would love for you to meet her, I know how hectic it is & would not interfere with your competing.

I can’t wait for her to start High School & hope that it is a much happier experience for her, even though yours was not.

I wish you nothing but success & the happiness that you deserve.

Answer

Thankyou for writing to me, although it makes me so sad that your beautiful daughter is being treated so badly by her peers.

I know from my personal experiences that my sport and my family were my rock when things were tough for me at school. Through the love and support you and your family give, she will hopefully get through the nastiness and isolation that she feels at the moment. As it was for me, I sincerely hope she will be much stronger emotionally and wiser for the experience, as she moves on through her teenage years.

It would be a huge pleasure for me to meet her at Aussies. Just drop me an email closer the event to confirm you will be there and what sort of cap/cosies to look out for. However, in the meantime if you could send me a postal address I will send a couple of little things to help brighten her day.

All my love and wishing her many years of happiness ahead.